Heavy

I wrote this when my country was in shambles…Somehow the situation with the world is just the same. The world is breaking. I am ashamed to say the very least. It's a harsh reality. And although I am privileged enough to not be at the forefront of it all, I thought I should pen my thoughts somewhere.

Today I felt it -

a feeling with no real words.

No words to really understand and

no words to truly comprehend.

I just felt an immense dread,

I felt rage, and I felt heavy.

For someone who talks big

about how I feel,

I tried to write about this too.

Make it personal, try to relate -

but I can't make it so,

because it never will be.

I am not at the forefront

of the insanity that is my country.

I am not active in the battle

between the youth and the authority.

All I know is this bloodshed

is unnecessary and a brutality.

I love my country, truly,

but the sign of the times suggest

that the country is breaking -

cracks deepening, caused by us all.

People attacking people, ruining them.

People instilling hate and disgust.

What is freedom? Why are we here?

After 72 long years, why do we still live in fear?

What is the purpose, what is the use?

Of this unjust and deranged misuse

of basic rights and voices,

of guns and choices?

I am ashamed to call

this my motherland.

A place that provided asylum and peace,

now provides hatred and rejection.

A nation of peace, corrupted -

by money, religion, fame, and power.

I feel hate, distain, shame,

I feel mad, bad, and ultimately

sad at the sorry state of my beloved.

A place I call my home now feels

unsafe and distant. A place where we

live in fear and constant hate.

-Ipshita Pal